"They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."

Day 6
         I feel like yesterday passed by way too quickly. We got to the orphanage and Lisa-Marie told us what we were doing that day, one group would start to build a pig pen, the other group would start de-lousing the kids. Once we gathered enough bricks, bought the rest, and made our own cement, my group headed over to the spot where a concrete pig pen would soon stand. It was a little hard for me at first to get the hang of adding enough wet cement and then putting the brick in place, but after some time, I still was terrible at it. So I went to the outside of the pen and began scraping up excess cement from the wall and putting it in a bucket. We let the cement dry while we played around with the kids and had some lunch, but then it was time to spread cement over the bricks. This job was, aswell, impossible for me to master, so I did my best until it was time for the next group to take their shift.
          As we sat under the roof of the stage the now familiar pitter, patter began to sound on the metal. With in a minute it was pouring rain like it would never rain again. The wind nearly knocked me over, the lightning and thunder roared in the sky, and the rain completely flooded the ground under the stage. Everyone got out and played in the rain until finally we all heaved ourselves back onto the stage and played there until it was time to go.

Day 7
         Today we moved on from the pig pen project, and onto the clothes lines. Never have I ever apreciated lawn mowers more than I do now. When I first learned we were cutting the grass I thought, "No problem." Then I learned it was without a mower, "It's all good." then I learned it was to the dirt and with a knife, "Oh."
          Sweating like I've never sweat before we all got down on our hands and knees and began to cut the long grass right down to the root, clump by clump. With almost every other wad of grass I uprooted a new army of tiny fire ants would erupt from the ground, and they were ruthless. A few hours had gone by before we all finally stood up and looked at our work, and I could not be happier. What once was an overgrown, ant- infested field of grass was now just a square of dirt. We were allowed a break from the clothes lines, so we sat down and had lunch.
          After eating we split up into two groups, one would work on the clothes lines more, the other would de-lice, then we would switch. I started off de-licing by finding out who hadn't gotten de-loused and who had. After asking around we found everyone who hadn't and set off to work. I de-loused a 15 year old boy named, Niron. Niron's quiet, but so sweet. When I went to go tell him that he was going to be de-loused I found him on the stage, reading the dictionary out-loud. I almost left so he could read but ended up calling him over anyway.
           Ten minutes of shampooing lead us up to the well where Niron washed off his hair. Right as I was about to give him the conditioner, he took off at a sprint down the little hill. Thinking that he was trying to run away I chased after him all the way to his locker/cubby where he pulled out a long wire. I followed him back up to the well where he now started to mend the broken hinge attaching the rope to one of the buckets. Relieved that he hadn't tried to run away I poured him some conditioner, he rubbed it in and washed it out, then I picked out any lice or lice eggs with a comb.
            Our groups switched and I started to plow the remaining dirt where the four new clothes lines stood. As I worked, Srey Tok ran over to me shouting, "Ava, Ava!" Except pronouncing the first "A" like an "e". She dug into her pocket and pulled out a green and pink braclet she made herself and tugged it onto my wrist. After plowing the dirt, picking out roots, and raking the ground, we finally finished our new clothes line.
      I got back to the stage and it was almost time to go when 18 year old Rot ran over to me and handed me a shiny blue card that had something in Khmer written on the front, and, "I <3 U" written on the back, when he gave to me he said, "I love you my friend."
      Drizzling rain and being squeezed by my new friend Niron, I was lucky enough to ride on the small triangular metal piece that connnects the tuk tuk to the bike because there was no room. As we ride away down the dirt street, I could still see the kids waving and chasing after us until we turned the corner and they disappeared. Riding down the bumby dirt road Lisa-Marie asked me how I was doing, I turned around to tell her I was fine when we were fortunate enough to hit a bump at that very moment. I first smacked the side of my head on the metal bar, and then we hit another bump a second later and I whacked the front of my head.
      We usually get a lot of stares where ever we go in the tuk tuk, so you can imagine how many we got when people saw an American girl sitting in the wrong place on the tuk tuk.... We reached the Guest House, my head throbbing and my knuckles white from death-gripping the tuk tuk, Lisa-Marie told us that tonight we were getting an official, traditional Khmer massage, I thought I might pass-out with relief. Fully clothed and sore all over, Bret, Alex and I went into the massage room and were soon greated by our three massuesess. The massage was going great until Bret was told to go into the bathroom and change into some PJ shorts. He walked in and closed the door, but didn't switch the light switch that was on the outside, so one of the girls did it for him, he came out and I told him one of the girls had to turn on the lights for him. With his new shorts on Bret flung himself onto the bed, and landed his head right on the headboard. The smacking sound was louder and harder than you can ever imagine, I burst out laughing and nearly cried, the girls started giggling, I'm not sure if Alex knew what just happened, and Bret sat there groaning and laughing, it makes me cry I'm laughing so hard right now. The massage was great except for one part when my masseuse sat my up and cracked by whole back which hurt a whole lot but felt good at the same time.
         I finally make my way to bed, where I fall asleep and dream about living at CPO with my family and all the kids...

"They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." Andy Warhol

"Let us wipe out the past, trust in the future, and rejoice in the glorious Now."

Day 4
         Yesterday was our first day away from CPO, our main orphanage. We spent the whole day going to SFODA and the PIO orphanage and handing out supplies like clothing, food and medical supplies. The first orphanage we went to was SFODA. This orphanage is right by the Tonle Sap River and was in the middle of a slum village, very unlike CPO, this orphanage was much bigger and had much better living conditions. Unfortunately our tuk tuk broke down so one group was an hour and a half late. But despite our tardiness I was able to connect with some of the younger children. Very soon after I had arrived it was time to leave, so we hopped in the tuk tuks and headed for PIO.
          PIO is on the outskirts of not only a slum village, but a trash dump as well. As we drove by half-naked children would watch us from piles of trash, their tiny hands desperately clutching items that they found there. Once we got to PIO I immediately felt a different connection then what we had with SFODA, all the kids ran up and hugged us and lead us into the main room in the orphanage where we all sat down and made origami. One sixteen year old boy, Vinsna, came over to Nikko and I and we talked a drew with each other. Over the past few days I've noticed that whenever I tell someone my name, they immediately drag me over to their friend and say excitedly, "Ava!" but finally Visna told us that Nikko, Ava, and Visna were all famous Cambodian singers. I suggested that we make a band but they just laughed at me, their loss anyway. Once we finished origami some of the kids put on a show and it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Delirious with excitement, one girl who was preforming smiled hugely and nearly fell over when she saw me smiling at her. After two dances and a lot of clapping, our whole team was privileged enough to have a dance party, and let me tell you, they are the best dancers in the world. One boy with a sort of mullet whose name I never got to know was always in the center of the dancing circle, dancing like there was no tomorrow (which really there wasn't) because soon it was time to go. As we piled into the tuk tuks Lisa-Marie gave a bag of clothing to the trash dump kids. As we were about to drive away Visna came up to my tuk tuk and said, "Will you come back?" And I said I would try. But then he said, "Promise me. Promise me you will come back. I want to see you again." I was nearly in tears when I told him that I really couldn't promise too much, but I did promise I would work my soul out to come back next year.

Day 5
        Today was an amazing day for sure. We went back to CPO and everyone was so happy to see us. After huge hugs and hellos we all messed around for a while, then it was time to work. Nikko and I were in charge of washing the clothes by hand which isn't too hard, getting the kids to tell us what clothes were dirty was a different story. All the kids think that everything is clean even if it's drenched in mud and covered in stains. Once we finally took a basket of clothes and headed up to the well, we were able to clean everything fairly quickly. With our first chore down we then headed back to the garden, where we would be raking trash for the next hour and a half. Seeing as though the fences were almost falling over with the continuous weight of wet clothing, we were cleaning an area of grass and dirt for new clothes lines (plus it could use a clean-up anyway). Under a tree by the corner of the fence was a total ocean of trash, so stupidly unknowing of what could be back there I went under the tree and began to rake, not knowing I had awoken about ten-thousand fire ants, and I'm not exaggerating. On this trip I've been bitten by more fire ants than I have by misquitos, and they hurt. After calming myself down and double-checking that there were no ants on me, I went back to the stage and began a game with the older boys. There are two teams, one is defensive and the other offensive. The offensive team has to say, "Oooooooo..." The whole time they are on one side of the stage, once they touch one of the defensive members, that person must run back to their team, still saying, "Oooooo..." if that person runs out of breath and stops saying that, they lose, the defensive team is also allowed to trip, push, or put into a head lock who ever is trying to return to their team. I have to admit though, the talent to touch someone who wants to stop you at all costs and return to your team unscathed is a talent I do not possess.
        Our game ended, I was sweating like a pig, and it was raining, so we started a dance party. I don't think a grown-up will ever truly understand the bonding that goes on between kids when they throw a dance party together. We danced, and we danced, and we danced, until finally it was time to go. Still sweating but wearing a huge smile I climbed into the tuk tuk and we rode away, the kids chasing after us, trying to make our hands touch for just a little longer.
         On our drive home Nikko and I came up with a game; if anyone stared, pointed, or laughed at us as we passed, we gained a point. We ended with a total of thirty-five points. Most people just stared in awe at us as we passed, but when we stopped at a red light one man on the motorcycle next to us reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, and took a picture of us!

"Let us wipe out the past, trust in the future, and rejoice in the glorious Now." William R. Evans 111 & Andrew Frothingham

"We may not have it all together, but together we have it all."

Day 2
         Yesterday was our first full day at the orphanage, our first day we got to ride in a tuk tuk instead of a van, and our first day of physical labor. When we first arrived we got to play with the kids for about twenty to thirty minutes, then it was time for five of us (including me) to head to the garden and start upturning the hard, dry soil where the orphanage plants their vegetables, the other two would stay with the kids a little longer. Hot sun plus fire ants plus bent over shoveling dirt equals the Niagra Falls pouring from you. This job wasn't to be taken lightly considering this is where the orphanage grows all their vegetables, if we didn't do a good job on this, the kids don't get the amount of food that they really need.
         After our work was done it was time to play with the kids again, meaning we had a war of sorts. It started off as everyone drawing in the coloring books and a few kids playing with these little slingshot guns, then a few crayons started flying and Alex became an insane army general, who kept ordering the little kids to shoot crayons at the rest of the volunteers.
          Soon after calling a cease fire, we had the idea to start a limbo party. As more and more kids arrived from school, more and more kids began laughing and tripping beneath the limbo bar. We finally had to leave and all the kids were saying, "Good bye, I will see you tomorrow!" and as we drove away some of the kids would run with us until they couldn't anymore.

Day 3
         The thing that stuck with me from today was this, you never truly know the definition of the word "slum" until you walk through the scrap metal shacks, the skin and bone chickens, the gray and green trash filled water that slithers its way through the streets, and the children playing by its shore. We walked through the streets of the slum where most of the children at the orphanage grow up. Foul smells and horrid sights reminded me of what I'm working for, and why I'm here. But even in all the darkness, there were still blossoms of light. Small homes are being donated so families can have better living conditions, even with the little they have people will smile huge smiles as you walk by, and there is not only an English school but a library for kids. At the end of our trip we visited the school, where my new sister Srey Tok looked positively joyous to see me. There are three classes that the kids are put in, class one is for a low English level, level two is for medium, and three of course is for high (this class was two). After sitting through the end of class with them, the kids brought us over to the library and read to us. Not understanding a word I just smiled and said, "Good job!" when Srey Tok looked at me for confirmation. We finished our trip and headed back to the orphanage where the new garden was neatly planted, and where we started a new game where two kids would hit two long sticks on the ground together in a beat, the two people next to the sticks would have to step between them without getting their feet smashed. Our game ended and the kids practiced their songs for performances, and Srey Tok fell asleep in my lap. As the kids finished a faint patter began to sound on the roof, and than it got faster, and faster, and faster. But let me tell you, when it rains it pours. Despite the dumping rain everyone ran out into the down falling water and slid and fell around in the mud, then when we went to the well to wash off the dirty spots, the kids threw buckets of water at us. It was an amazing day, and as each day passes, the kids there steal another part of my heart.

The Killing Fields

                After our extremely long flight and about four hours of sleep, day one finally began. Our orientation was at Star Kampachea and gave us all the information we could possibly need. We went over the language, the history, and what to and not to do while we are here (as an example, girls cannot touch a monk). But once we left the orientation I was faced with the first emotional challenge- the Genocide Museum. The whole museum is made of the old jail cells used to house prisoners during the reign of the Khmer Rouge, and more importantly Pol Pot. Millions of Cambodians were murdered during Pol Pot's attempt to return Cambodia to year 0. The cells are lined wall-to-wall with pictures and stories of old prisoners, most of the pictures were mere mugshots, others were of the prisoners' corpses. Not only had our guide lost family members to the wrath of Pol Pot, but we also got to meet two survivors. I had expected both of them to be quiet and solitary- but they were so full of hope and joy that you couldn't help smiling. After our visit to the museum, we went to the Killing Fields. The Killing Fields were where soldiers of the Khmer Rouge would kill prisoners. A huge gold and white stupa looms over the entire memorial, it's walls filled with the skulls and bones of the people who died here. As we walked around the fields, we saw many different kinds of weapons that were used for torture. We listened to a recording while we walked instead of a guide, but it wasn't just facts, we listened to the stories of several different people who had survived. The many different stories didn't just put together a puzzle, sugar-coated and already thought-up, but instead it painted a picture straight from the survivors' minds. Seeing and hearing all these things really snapped some things into perspective- there's a reason why we're here, and we wouldn't be here if we weren't needed, so I'm going to do everything I can to make a difference in these kids' lives.

                  On our van-ride to the orphanage I really didn't know what to expect. We drove by fields of trash with little houses made of tiny scraps of wood and metal with people huddled inside them. I was worried that after losing the first Cambodia Team, the kids wouldn't want to go through that again so they would close us off. But the second our van parked outside the orphanage I knew I was dead wrong. Kids poured onto the sidewalk, waving and wearing the biggest smiles and saying, "Hello!" Eager to meet everyone I jumped out of the van and immediately little eight year old Tok was clinging to my hand, her big brown eyes shinning with pure joy. The kids all greeted us and brought us onto the stage where they literally do everything and started playing alphabet games with us. Tok was positively elated to be playing with me and she did not let go of my hand. We were practicing the alphabet when Tok wrote in the dirt in front of the stage, "I <3 YOU" After about thirty minutes of playing I got to meet an eighteen year old girl named Srey Nuch. Srey Nuch is the kindest person in the world, when I walk over to her she holds my hand and asks if I want to sit down. Whatever has happened in their lives does not effect how they act around us. For someone who has so little, it is amazing to see how much hope and joy those kids can express in the one hour we got to see them. When it was time to go we got in the van and the kids were holding our hands through the window and saying, "I'll see you tomorrow!" I don't know when we go back tomorrow- but I'll be thinking about it until it comes.      

My Last Night in America

I'm in Denver and spending my last night in America here. I've never felt this excited and nervous at the same time- but I know what I'm going to do and I'm going to give everything I have in me for those kids, and I hope it will be enough.

4 More Days

Only four more days until I leave for Cambodia and I am freaking out!!! My friends keep giving me weird looks because they'll hear me counting in Khmer under my breath, and today on my ride home I yelled, "Only four more days!" at some guy who was walking by. I haven't even met the kids but already they're running through my head all day...

The Count Down Begins......

Only a week until I go to Cambodia. I have all the supplies on the packing list, I have a pile of clothes to pack, I've finished taking my typhoid pills, I've studied the language and the history, and now all that's left is to study the currency and get on the plane! I've been reading others' blogs and my mounting excitement is making me feel giddy! :0