It's been about four months since returning from the Cambodia trip that has changed my life forever. I went to Cambodia thinking that it would completely change me, that I would be a totally different person when I came back. But it was something even better. Serving other people does something special in my heart, I didn't come back as a stranger, I came back as Ava. This trip helped me dig deep inside myself and find who I really was, what my beliefs really are, and what my passion is. My passion is to serve others.
Every single day turning down that bumpy dirt road to go to CPO was like pressing the turbo button on my heart beat. As the tuk tuk would rattle down the narrow road my heart would spring to life, my blood would rush through my veins, and an overwhelming sense of joy would erupt inside me. Every breath was like breathing in happiness that would soon spread, every ticking second made my smile grow bigger and bigger.
Every single day I think about those kids. Every single day I check the clock and automatically tell myself what time it is in Cambodia. Every single morning is keeping my eyes closed, and hoping that when I open them, I'll be home. But every single morning I open my eyes and I'm still in my bed. For the first few months I was thinking that Cambodia was the only place that I should be, the only place I should help. But then one morning it hit me, I should be anywhere God calls me to be. We are all on this planet together. To wake up in the morning and say, "I'm going to help someone." and then going out and actually doing it- that is what life is. Answering the call to love, and I am more than ready to pick up the phone.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Friday, July 13, 2012
"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. What lies behind me? Expectations, curiosity, sorrow, pain. What lies ahead of me? Lightness, darkness, I do not know. What lies within me? Hope, joy, confusion, love, the kids...
I'm back home in Edwards- mixed thoughts and emotions still running through my head. I think about the kids every single minute of every single day, I wonder if they're thinking about me. I want to see them again, but I want to be with my family too. I trust that they're using the clothes line, that they're going to use the now planted vegetables, that they're going to take care of Lola the pig, that they're going to use their running water, and that they love us. I love them with all my heart, I never want to forget them, and I never will. To make it so at least one person can breathe a little easier, to truly change someone's life, it really stays with you.
Even though they're on the other side of the planet right now, I will never stop thinking of them, never stop loving them. Every time I look at the moon I'll think, "That's the same moon Niron has seen." or, "I wonder if Srey Tok has ever looked at that star."
Thank you everyone who has supported me in anyway. Whether it be saying, "Good luck!", buying a hat, donating money, or actually taking me to Cambodia- thank you, thank you, thank you. Because some things in the world change on their own, other things we have to change ourselves..
"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Emerson
I'm back home in Edwards- mixed thoughts and emotions still running through my head. I think about the kids every single minute of every single day, I wonder if they're thinking about me. I want to see them again, but I want to be with my family too. I trust that they're using the clothes line, that they're going to use the now planted vegetables, that they're going to take care of Lola the pig, that they're going to use their running water, and that they love us. I love them with all my heart, I never want to forget them, and I never will. To make it so at least one person can breathe a little easier, to truly change someone's life, it really stays with you.
Even though they're on the other side of the planet right now, I will never stop thinking of them, never stop loving them. Every time I look at the moon I'll think, "That's the same moon Niron has seen." or, "I wonder if Srey Tok has ever looked at that star."
Thank you everyone who has supported me in anyway. Whether it be saying, "Good luck!", buying a hat, donating money, or actually taking me to Cambodia- thank you, thank you, thank you. Because some things in the world change on their own, other things we have to change ourselves..
"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Emerson
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
"When opportunity knocks, open the door even if you're in your bathrobes."
Day 12
Yesterday we started our adventure to Angkor Wat temple in Siem Reap. One five hour drive later, we arrived at The Kool Hotel where we would be staying for the next two nights.
We went out to dinner and visited the Night Market, which I personally like much more than the stinky normal market. Feeling like a successful shopper, I climbed into bed, but despite the trip's length, my exhaustion, and my eagerness to see the temples tomorrow, the images of the kids and their voices flashed through my head and I was not able to sleep.
Day 13
A total of about four hours sleep, Anna, Camryn and I woke up at 4:00 and got dressed for the day. About fifteen minutes in a van later we all had our pictures taken so that we could receive our tickets allowing us passage into Angkor Wat. Our tour guide, Jack, brought us to the rim of the little lake just outside Angkor Wat and we watched the sun rise over the ancient towers. The sunrise was small, with only a few pink clouds, but the way the small amount of sunshine illuminated the temple in a golden glow, the light pink clouds that reflected in the water with the water lilies, and the dim light that softened the whole scene, was beautiful.
The tour started not in Angkor Wat, but instead in a temple called Toprahm, which personally was my favorite temple out of the whole day. Ancient buildings covered in moss and being strangled by the roots of thirty foot trees growing out of the ceiling, the only thing still holding the buildings together.
It was still early in the morning when we visited Toprahm, so it was a little cooler than it usually is, plus the whole temple is shrouded in the shade. This ancient city has been long since abandoned and has collapsed in many places, but the cultural and physical beauty of all the temples remains.
After Toprahm we went to Angkor Wat, the place I had only dreamed of going to. Once a temple built for Hinduism, the now Buddhist temple has three stories of legend covered walls. The first story has a gallery telling the story of the gods and demons working together to move the Nagga (snake) through the Sea of Milk so they can get the Elixir of Life. Having been desecrated in some places, nearly all the statues of Buddha are now headless, and chunks of wall from the gallery are missing. On the very top floor, a huge Statue of the Resting Buddha lies in an even bigger niche.
The Bayon temple was next, when we first got out of the van, we were immediately swarmed by children and adults trying to sell us anything, just like at Toprahm. After many refusals and lots of ignoring, we reached the beautiful Bayon. The giant faces of Buddha stick out from the walls and the towers and small stupas towering above us gave a beautifully mysterious look to the city. Thinking that the huge Buddha faces were the faces of one of the Hindu gods, the Hindus luckily did not destroy them.
Bop Kuon was our final destination. The old temple had a more abandoned look to it the some of the others did. No trees growing on top, no giant statues, no big Buddha faces, just the square temple that rose sharply in the middle, reaching for the sky. Bop Kuon- Sky Palace.
Just outside Bop Kuon are two small lakes that are no longer used (except for some children who bathe there). And finally the two terraces. The terrace on the left had a statue showing leprosy, a disease in which the king who built the terrace had. And the terrace on the right, the Elephant Terrace, had statues of elephants that were used for all kinds of things like entertainment and for the king.
Each temple had its own story to tell, its own way to be fascinating and beautiful- just like each of the kids.
"When opportunity knocks, open the door even if you're in your bathrobes." Heather Zschock
Yesterday we started our adventure to Angkor Wat temple in Siem Reap. One five hour drive later, we arrived at The Kool Hotel where we would be staying for the next two nights.
We went out to dinner and visited the Night Market, which I personally like much more than the stinky normal market. Feeling like a successful shopper, I climbed into bed, but despite the trip's length, my exhaustion, and my eagerness to see the temples tomorrow, the images of the kids and their voices flashed through my head and I was not able to sleep.
Day 13
A total of about four hours sleep, Anna, Camryn and I woke up at 4:00 and got dressed for the day. About fifteen minutes in a van later we all had our pictures taken so that we could receive our tickets allowing us passage into Angkor Wat. Our tour guide, Jack, brought us to the rim of the little lake just outside Angkor Wat and we watched the sun rise over the ancient towers. The sunrise was small, with only a few pink clouds, but the way the small amount of sunshine illuminated the temple in a golden glow, the light pink clouds that reflected in the water with the water lilies, and the dim light that softened the whole scene, was beautiful.
The tour started not in Angkor Wat, but instead in a temple called Toprahm, which personally was my favorite temple out of the whole day. Ancient buildings covered in moss and being strangled by the roots of thirty foot trees growing out of the ceiling, the only thing still holding the buildings together.
It was still early in the morning when we visited Toprahm, so it was a little cooler than it usually is, plus the whole temple is shrouded in the shade. This ancient city has been long since abandoned and has collapsed in many places, but the cultural and physical beauty of all the temples remains.
After Toprahm we went to Angkor Wat, the place I had only dreamed of going to. Once a temple built for Hinduism, the now Buddhist temple has three stories of legend covered walls. The first story has a gallery telling the story of the gods and demons working together to move the Nagga (snake) through the Sea of Milk so they can get the Elixir of Life. Having been desecrated in some places, nearly all the statues of Buddha are now headless, and chunks of wall from the gallery are missing. On the very top floor, a huge Statue of the Resting Buddha lies in an even bigger niche.
The Bayon temple was next, when we first got out of the van, we were immediately swarmed by children and adults trying to sell us anything, just like at Toprahm. After many refusals and lots of ignoring, we reached the beautiful Bayon. The giant faces of Buddha stick out from the walls and the towers and small stupas towering above us gave a beautifully mysterious look to the city. Thinking that the huge Buddha faces were the faces of one of the Hindu gods, the Hindus luckily did not destroy them.
Bop Kuon was our final destination. The old temple had a more abandoned look to it the some of the others did. No trees growing on top, no giant statues, no big Buddha faces, just the square temple that rose sharply in the middle, reaching for the sky. Bop Kuon- Sky Palace.
Just outside Bop Kuon are two small lakes that are no longer used (except for some children who bathe there). And finally the two terraces. The terrace on the left had a statue showing leprosy, a disease in which the king who built the terrace had. And the terrace on the right, the Elephant Terrace, had statues of elephants that were used for all kinds of things like entertainment and for the king.
Each temple had its own story to tell, its own way to be fascinating and beautiful- just like each of the kids.
"When opportunity knocks, open the door even if you're in your bathrobes." Heather Zschock
Sunday, July 8, 2012
"It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up."
Day 10
Even the sky was crying yesterday. The minute I woke up I knew we were leaving the orphanage that day; but I pushed it from my mind and soaked up every moment I could. We went to the Russian Market to pick up supplies for the good-bye party. We bought chicken, cucumbers, eggs, apples, rice, sugar, salt, party hats, and lots of other stuff too. The party hats gave me a nice panic attack because we had to wait another ten minutes to get all the sixty hats, but ended up just taking thirty-one because we were already late.
The tuk tuk drive had the same effect on me as it always does; the minute we turn onto the bumpy dirt road leading to the orphanage my heart begins to race and I can't help smiling. The tuk tuks pull in and everyone jumps out, our arms instantly wrapping around the little bodies that cling to us. When I first see the stage my heart jumps with excitement; draped in paintings and colorful cloth, the kids have already set up the stage for their performance. Srey Tok led me onto the stage and showed me everything from the costumes, to the paintings, to the makeup. As everyone beat each other with balloons, I gave Srey Tok a little gold and sliver string bracelet I had made for her; a few minutes later I gave Niron another gold and silver bracelet that I made for him, and I can never put into words how happy he was. Still smiling and blushing slightly, Niron presents me with a small bracelet and a cross necklace, gives me a hug, and runs off.
I was helping put together a huge picture frame with pictures of us and the kids for the orphanage when Rot comes in and hands me a card that says, "To My Friend, Angry Bird Ava." then he unwraps a package and puts on me two hand-made bracelets, and a cross necklace and then says, "I love you my friend."
Every one's sitting on the benches in front of the stage, ready to watch the show (I've been given two more bracelets, another necklace and a ring), when finally the first group of kids come out and the dancing begins. First it's the older boys' Hip-hop dancing, then the girls' dancing, then little kids. My hands sore from clapping, the kids finish and we start the dance party. At first it was only a few people, but after some pleading and convincing, we managed to get everyone on the stage and dancing like crazy.
Dinner came around and once again I had to beg Niron to eat, but he finally did and had two servings. We began dancing again until all the volunteers were called into the office to get ready to unveil the picture frame. We came out waving and wearing glow sticks, throwing balloons with LED lights in them, and carrying the picture frame; the kids went crazy. After our present and a few words of thanks, I climbed back on the stage, ready to dance, when I noticed there was no music, and people had tears rolling down their faces. I looked around and asked, "We're not going yet are we?" but no one answered me. My heart stopped, I could no longer breathe, it was time.
Not even a second later I'm holding Niron in my arms, his heavy sobs and tears soaking my shirt, Ranott wrapped in my other arm. I cried harder than I've ever cried before. The blood rushed from my arms and legs, Niron crying onto my shoulder and me crying on his. We're all on our knees, Niron, Ranott, and Nirrot are hugging and crying on me, Srey Tok is no where to be found. Niron looks in my eyes and asks between sobs, "You sister me?" At that moment I felt my heart break. I immediately say yes and tell him that he's my brother and that I love him when he asks, "Will you forget me?" I begin to cry so hard that I only barely manage to tell him that I will never forget him, and that I will think of him everyday of my life. "I love you sister!" Niron chokes out right before I do something I didn't think I would do; I began to sing "Jesus Loves Me." The minute I began singing both Niron and Ranott stopped sobbing to listen, until my voice cracked and I couldn't sing the next line. We continued this way for a while, saying, "I love you. I love you. I love you." until Zoe tells me it's time to go. Niron has to help me to my feet and I drag my way over to my bag, Niron and now Roy holding onto me. I pull on my bag and my shoes and Niron, Ranott and I walk out of the orphanage together. We step onto the street where I find little Srey Tok smiling. She runs up to me and says, "I'll see you on Monday!" I start to cry harder. No matter how hard I tried she wouldn't understand that we weren't coming back on Monday, or Tuesday...
I have to be asked to get in the tuk tuk, but before I do Niron gives me one more hug and says, "I love you sister." I tell him that I love him too, climb onto the tuk tuk, and begin to drive away. They're all running alongside us, Niron grabbing my hand and crying; he was my first and last kid to hug that day. They run with us as long as they can until their hands slipped from ours and the darkness swallowed them, or maybe it swallowed us.
I cried for the whole forty minute drive and for about ten more minutes when we reached the Guest House. We have a meeting and go to bed. As I laid there in the darkness I think of all the kids I got to hug and the words, "I love you sister." still echoing in my head.
Day 11
I wake up and think of the kids. I eat breakfast and think of the kids. We take a Cambodian cooking class and I think of the kids. We tour the Royal Palace and I think of the kids. Every second of the day I've thought about them, what they're doing, how they feel, if they're okay, what they want to do when they grow up, all of it running through my head. I fell asleep feeling complete sorrow last night, but I woke up this morning recognizing something else that I had and still feel- pure Love. I spell it with a capital, "L" because it's more than just a feeling. When people hear these stories, and sometimes experience them, they always say, "It will be okay." and, "I know how you feel." They have no idea what they're saying. The connections, the friendship, the Love that I shared with those kids will never be fully understood, I'm still trying to understand it myself. But it's Love that brought us here, Love that made us fix the garden, build a pigpen, spend hours clearing a field of grass to set up a clothes line, fixing the fence, and giving them running water. It was true Love that made us all cry that night, and Love that gave them the hope that there is a better way to live.
I hope that when ever they hang up their clothes, feed the pig, or wash their hands with running water, that they'll think of us. Because I know I'm going to think of them everyday. I will never forget my family, and I never want to.
"It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up." Vince Lombardi
Even the sky was crying yesterday. The minute I woke up I knew we were leaving the orphanage that day; but I pushed it from my mind and soaked up every moment I could. We went to the Russian Market to pick up supplies for the good-bye party. We bought chicken, cucumbers, eggs, apples, rice, sugar, salt, party hats, and lots of other stuff too. The party hats gave me a nice panic attack because we had to wait another ten minutes to get all the sixty hats, but ended up just taking thirty-one because we were already late.
The tuk tuk drive had the same effect on me as it always does; the minute we turn onto the bumpy dirt road leading to the orphanage my heart begins to race and I can't help smiling. The tuk tuks pull in and everyone jumps out, our arms instantly wrapping around the little bodies that cling to us. When I first see the stage my heart jumps with excitement; draped in paintings and colorful cloth, the kids have already set up the stage for their performance. Srey Tok led me onto the stage and showed me everything from the costumes, to the paintings, to the makeup. As everyone beat each other with balloons, I gave Srey Tok a little gold and sliver string bracelet I had made for her; a few minutes later I gave Niron another gold and silver bracelet that I made for him, and I can never put into words how happy he was. Still smiling and blushing slightly, Niron presents me with a small bracelet and a cross necklace, gives me a hug, and runs off.
I was helping put together a huge picture frame with pictures of us and the kids for the orphanage when Rot comes in and hands me a card that says, "To My Friend, Angry Bird Ava." then he unwraps a package and puts on me two hand-made bracelets, and a cross necklace and then says, "I love you my friend."
Every one's sitting on the benches in front of the stage, ready to watch the show (I've been given two more bracelets, another necklace and a ring), when finally the first group of kids come out and the dancing begins. First it's the older boys' Hip-hop dancing, then the girls' dancing, then little kids. My hands sore from clapping, the kids finish and we start the dance party. At first it was only a few people, but after some pleading and convincing, we managed to get everyone on the stage and dancing like crazy.
Dinner came around and once again I had to beg Niron to eat, but he finally did and had two servings. We began dancing again until all the volunteers were called into the office to get ready to unveil the picture frame. We came out waving and wearing glow sticks, throwing balloons with LED lights in them, and carrying the picture frame; the kids went crazy. After our present and a few words of thanks, I climbed back on the stage, ready to dance, when I noticed there was no music, and people had tears rolling down their faces. I looked around and asked, "We're not going yet are we?" but no one answered me. My heart stopped, I could no longer breathe, it was time.
Not even a second later I'm holding Niron in my arms, his heavy sobs and tears soaking my shirt, Ranott wrapped in my other arm. I cried harder than I've ever cried before. The blood rushed from my arms and legs, Niron crying onto my shoulder and me crying on his. We're all on our knees, Niron, Ranott, and Nirrot are hugging and crying on me, Srey Tok is no where to be found. Niron looks in my eyes and asks between sobs, "You sister me?" At that moment I felt my heart break. I immediately say yes and tell him that he's my brother and that I love him when he asks, "Will you forget me?" I begin to cry so hard that I only barely manage to tell him that I will never forget him, and that I will think of him everyday of my life. "I love you sister!" Niron chokes out right before I do something I didn't think I would do; I began to sing "Jesus Loves Me." The minute I began singing both Niron and Ranott stopped sobbing to listen, until my voice cracked and I couldn't sing the next line. We continued this way for a while, saying, "I love you. I love you. I love you." until Zoe tells me it's time to go. Niron has to help me to my feet and I drag my way over to my bag, Niron and now Roy holding onto me. I pull on my bag and my shoes and Niron, Ranott and I walk out of the orphanage together. We step onto the street where I find little Srey Tok smiling. She runs up to me and says, "I'll see you on Monday!" I start to cry harder. No matter how hard I tried she wouldn't understand that we weren't coming back on Monday, or Tuesday...
I have to be asked to get in the tuk tuk, but before I do Niron gives me one more hug and says, "I love you sister." I tell him that I love him too, climb onto the tuk tuk, and begin to drive away. They're all running alongside us, Niron grabbing my hand and crying; he was my first and last kid to hug that day. They run with us as long as they can until their hands slipped from ours and the darkness swallowed them, or maybe it swallowed us.
I cried for the whole forty minute drive and for about ten more minutes when we reached the Guest House. We have a meeting and go to bed. As I laid there in the darkness I think of all the kids I got to hug and the words, "I love you sister." still echoing in my head.
Day 11
I wake up and think of the kids. I eat breakfast and think of the kids. We take a Cambodian cooking class and I think of the kids. We tour the Royal Palace and I think of the kids. Every second of the day I've thought about them, what they're doing, how they feel, if they're okay, what they want to do when they grow up, all of it running through my head. I fell asleep feeling complete sorrow last night, but I woke up this morning recognizing something else that I had and still feel- pure Love. I spell it with a capital, "L" because it's more than just a feeling. When people hear these stories, and sometimes experience them, they always say, "It will be okay." and, "I know how you feel." They have no idea what they're saying. The connections, the friendship, the Love that I shared with those kids will never be fully understood, I'm still trying to understand it myself. But it's Love that brought us here, Love that made us fix the garden, build a pigpen, spend hours clearing a field of grass to set up a clothes line, fixing the fence, and giving them running water. It was true Love that made us all cry that night, and Love that gave them the hope that there is a better way to live.
I hope that when ever they hang up their clothes, feed the pig, or wash their hands with running water, that they'll think of us. Because I know I'm going to think of them everyday. I will never forget my family, and I never want to.
"It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up." Vince Lombardi
Friday, July 6, 2012
"Get action. Seize the moment. Man was never intended to become an oyster."
Day 8
Yesterday was a more low down work day. I started off by picking up some medicine from the pharmacy with Lisa-Marie (but they spell it pharmacie), then we went to the orphanage where I swept and cleaned the stage and the tables. After that I helped peel the greens that would be used in that day's lunch, until finally I got to play with everyone until lunch time. Seeing as though he works all day non-stop, I was expecting Niron to scarf down his lunch, but to my great displeasure he shows up with only a banana. I ask him if he's already had lunch, when he said he hadn't and that he's not hungry I tell him that if he doesn't eat I'll eat him- but he remained stubborn.
When lunch was finished the kids taught us a new game that I'm not very able to go into depth on, but it was really fun nevertheless. Still laughing from the game, Camryn pulled out the nail polish and it was all downhill from there. Everyone was painting everyone elses' nails whether they liked it or not. I finished painting Ret and Roy's nails when after about twenty minutes of asking, Niron finally let me paint his nails with a blue overcoat, but I laid it on so thick that it looked like actual nail polish. I was still laughing at these recent events when I was informed we were leaving half an hour early, that wiped the smile off my face pretty quickly. We all jumped in the tuk tuks and took off, the kids chasing after us even further than they usually do.
The Olympic Stadium is literally only a minute's drive away, so we decided to pay a little visit. Once we got there, I knew this place was something else. A steep walk up a hill lead us to the sweeping stadium, where people were doing aerobics, and a soccer field and track sat in the center. We ran down the stairs and onto the track, where Bret and Zoe began to run a mile, and the rest of us just walked our way around. Our laps done, we headed up to the top of the stadium where we started aerobics. The whole time I was smiling like a doof but I was having so much fun. We seemed to have ended up in the group with all the old people, so it was fun to see them barely doing the movements, and us overdoing them. All too soon we headed back to the Guest House and I was out like a light.
Day 9
I'm going to miss it all so much. The now familiar scent of lice shield and shampoo, the smell of fish paste, the aroma of a weird spiky nut-fruit-thing that it sold in all the markets, the sensation of someone throwing warm water in my face when I step out of my air-conditioned room, and most of all the excitment that swells in me when we turn down that bumpy dirt road, and that heart-stopping sound of the kids' laughter ringing out over the orphanage. They can sense it coming. For the past two days now most of the kids have been asking me, "You leave Saturday?" I've gotten attached to one 19 year old boy named Ret, who teases me just like my brother does :) Whenever we play volleyball together we're on the same team, but when I spike the ball and miss he does a ridiculous imitation of me swinging my hand around in the air. I think the words he's said most to me are, "You fighting?", "Just a little bit.", and "Are you happy?" Ret sells papers to help his mother buy what she needs, he doesn't live at the orphanage, but he comes everyday because we come. As I read to some kids on the stage, Camryn ran over to me and said, "Ava I need you." So I jumped up and followed her to a 14 year old boy named Cheu who had a bloody scape all down his hand from a nail. So I went totally Ape Doctor on him. I pulled out my first aid kit, rubbed it with an antiseptic towel, sprayed it with neosporin, and put about five bandaids on the scratch, Cheu and I are tight now :)
We were all fooling around when a moto drives in carrying a large basket with something fat and pink inside. Everyone chases the moto all the way to the pig pen, where the orphanage's new pig, Lola, is now staying. I manage to recover from my excitement at the sight of the pig in time for lunch, where I nearly burst with joy when I see Niron eat two servings of rice, vegetables, and small fish. I finished lunch and as Rot rubbed chalk on my face, music began to play. I was pulled up by Ret and told that a little girl named Srey Neath would be teaching me one of the dances they do at performances. In case you haven't been able to catch a hint yet, I have the hand-eye coordination of a rotting squash. So delirious to what the plum she was doing, I tried my best to imitate Srey Neath as best I could, nearly killing everyone in the process.
I sat down after our dance and promised myself I would never try it again, for now at least. Then the next dance came on, and I willingly sat out. Niron performed in this dance and every time he caught my eye, he would smile his big smile and laugh in his little boyish way (and a little boy named Sok Heng fell asleep in my lap). I was laughing and enjoying my time with Rot, Ret, Cheu, and Bret when we were told it was time to go- I nearly cried. I zipped up my bag as slowly as I could and gave everyone huge hugs goodbye. As the tuk tuk roared into life and began to roll down the dirt road, the kids chased after us, waving and laughing and smiling; that was the last time we could say we would see them tomorrow...
"Get action. Seize the moment. Man was never intended to become an oyster." Theodore Roosevelt
Yesterday was a more low down work day. I started off by picking up some medicine from the pharmacy with Lisa-Marie (but they spell it pharmacie), then we went to the orphanage where I swept and cleaned the stage and the tables. After that I helped peel the greens that would be used in that day's lunch, until finally I got to play with everyone until lunch time. Seeing as though he works all day non-stop, I was expecting Niron to scarf down his lunch, but to my great displeasure he shows up with only a banana. I ask him if he's already had lunch, when he said he hadn't and that he's not hungry I tell him that if he doesn't eat I'll eat him- but he remained stubborn.
When lunch was finished the kids taught us a new game that I'm not very able to go into depth on, but it was really fun nevertheless. Still laughing from the game, Camryn pulled out the nail polish and it was all downhill from there. Everyone was painting everyone elses' nails whether they liked it or not. I finished painting Ret and Roy's nails when after about twenty minutes of asking, Niron finally let me paint his nails with a blue overcoat, but I laid it on so thick that it looked like actual nail polish. I was still laughing at these recent events when I was informed we were leaving half an hour early, that wiped the smile off my face pretty quickly. We all jumped in the tuk tuks and took off, the kids chasing after us even further than they usually do.
The Olympic Stadium is literally only a minute's drive away, so we decided to pay a little visit. Once we got there, I knew this place was something else. A steep walk up a hill lead us to the sweeping stadium, where people were doing aerobics, and a soccer field and track sat in the center. We ran down the stairs and onto the track, where Bret and Zoe began to run a mile, and the rest of us just walked our way around. Our laps done, we headed up to the top of the stadium where we started aerobics. The whole time I was smiling like a doof but I was having so much fun. We seemed to have ended up in the group with all the old people, so it was fun to see them barely doing the movements, and us overdoing them. All too soon we headed back to the Guest House and I was out like a light.
Day 9
I'm going to miss it all so much. The now familiar scent of lice shield and shampoo, the smell of fish paste, the aroma of a weird spiky nut-fruit-thing that it sold in all the markets, the sensation of someone throwing warm water in my face when I step out of my air-conditioned room, and most of all the excitment that swells in me when we turn down that bumpy dirt road, and that heart-stopping sound of the kids' laughter ringing out over the orphanage. They can sense it coming. For the past two days now most of the kids have been asking me, "You leave Saturday?" I've gotten attached to one 19 year old boy named Ret, who teases me just like my brother does :) Whenever we play volleyball together we're on the same team, but when I spike the ball and miss he does a ridiculous imitation of me swinging my hand around in the air. I think the words he's said most to me are, "You fighting?", "Just a little bit.", and "Are you happy?" Ret sells papers to help his mother buy what she needs, he doesn't live at the orphanage, but he comes everyday because we come. As I read to some kids on the stage, Camryn ran over to me and said, "Ava I need you." So I jumped up and followed her to a 14 year old boy named Cheu who had a bloody scape all down his hand from a nail. So I went totally Ape Doctor on him. I pulled out my first aid kit, rubbed it with an antiseptic towel, sprayed it with neosporin, and put about five bandaids on the scratch, Cheu and I are tight now :)
We were all fooling around when a moto drives in carrying a large basket with something fat and pink inside. Everyone chases the moto all the way to the pig pen, where the orphanage's new pig, Lola, is now staying. I manage to recover from my excitement at the sight of the pig in time for lunch, where I nearly burst with joy when I see Niron eat two servings of rice, vegetables, and small fish. I finished lunch and as Rot rubbed chalk on my face, music began to play. I was pulled up by Ret and told that a little girl named Srey Neath would be teaching me one of the dances they do at performances. In case you haven't been able to catch a hint yet, I have the hand-eye coordination of a rotting squash. So delirious to what the plum she was doing, I tried my best to imitate Srey Neath as best I could, nearly killing everyone in the process.
I sat down after our dance and promised myself I would never try it again, for now at least. Then the next dance came on, and I willingly sat out. Niron performed in this dance and every time he caught my eye, he would smile his big smile and laugh in his little boyish way (and a little boy named Sok Heng fell asleep in my lap). I was laughing and enjoying my time with Rot, Ret, Cheu, and Bret when we were told it was time to go- I nearly cried. I zipped up my bag as slowly as I could and gave everyone huge hugs goodbye. As the tuk tuk roared into life and began to roll down the dirt road, the kids chased after us, waving and laughing and smiling; that was the last time we could say we would see them tomorrow...
"Get action. Seize the moment. Man was never intended to become an oyster." Theodore Roosevelt
Thursday, July 5, 2012
"They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."
Day 6
I feel like yesterday passed by way too quickly. We got to the orphanage and Lisa-Marie told us what we were doing that day, one group would start to build a pig pen, the other group would start de-lousing the kids. Once we gathered enough bricks, bought the rest, and made our own cement, my group headed over to the spot where a concrete pig pen would soon stand. It was a little hard for me at first to get the hang of adding enough wet cement and then putting the brick in place, but after some time, I still was terrible at it. So I went to the outside of the pen and began scraping up excess cement from the wall and putting it in a bucket. We let the cement dry while we played around with the kids and had some lunch, but then it was time to spread cement over the bricks. This job was, aswell, impossible for me to master, so I did my best until it was time for the next group to take their shift.
As we sat under the roof of the stage the now familiar pitter, patter began to sound on the metal. With in a minute it was pouring rain like it would never rain again. The wind nearly knocked me over, the lightning and thunder roared in the sky, and the rain completely flooded the ground under the stage. Everyone got out and played in the rain until finally we all heaved ourselves back onto the stage and played there until it was time to go.
Day 7
Today we moved on from the pig pen project, and onto the clothes lines. Never have I ever apreciated lawn mowers more than I do now. When I first learned we were cutting the grass I thought, "No problem." Then I learned it was without a mower, "It's all good." then I learned it was to the dirt and with a knife, "Oh."
Sweating like I've never sweat before we all got down on our hands and knees and began to cut the long grass right down to the root, clump by clump. With almost every other wad of grass I uprooted a new army of tiny fire ants would erupt from the ground, and they were ruthless. A few hours had gone by before we all finally stood up and looked at our work, and I could not be happier. What once was an overgrown, ant- infested field of grass was now just a square of dirt. We were allowed a break from the clothes lines, so we sat down and had lunch.
After eating we split up into two groups, one would work on the clothes lines more, the other would de-lice, then we would switch. I started off de-licing by finding out who hadn't gotten de-loused and who had. After asking around we found everyone who hadn't and set off to work. I de-loused a 15 year old boy named, Niron. Niron's quiet, but so sweet. When I went to go tell him that he was going to be de-loused I found him on the stage, reading the dictionary out-loud. I almost left so he could read but ended up calling him over anyway.
Ten minutes of shampooing lead us up to the well where Niron washed off his hair. Right as I was about to give him the conditioner, he took off at a sprint down the little hill. Thinking that he was trying to run away I chased after him all the way to his locker/cubby where he pulled out a long wire. I followed him back up to the well where he now started to mend the broken hinge attaching the rope to one of the buckets. Relieved that he hadn't tried to run away I poured him some conditioner, he rubbed it in and washed it out, then I picked out any lice or lice eggs with a comb.
Our groups switched and I started to plow the remaining dirt where the four new clothes lines stood. As I worked, Srey Tok ran over to me shouting, "Ava, Ava!" Except pronouncing the first "A" like an "e". She dug into her pocket and pulled out a green and pink braclet she made herself and tugged it onto my wrist. After plowing the dirt, picking out roots, and raking the ground, we finally finished our new clothes line.
I got back to the stage and it was almost time to go when 18 year old Rot ran over to me and handed me a shiny blue card that had something in Khmer written on the front, and, "I <3 U" written on the back, when he gave to me he said, "I love you my friend."
Drizzling rain and being squeezed by my new friend Niron, I was lucky enough to ride on the small triangular metal piece that connnects the tuk tuk to the bike because there was no room. As we ride away down the dirt street, I could still see the kids waving and chasing after us until we turned the corner and they disappeared. Riding down the bumby dirt road Lisa-Marie asked me how I was doing, I turned around to tell her I was fine when we were fortunate enough to hit a bump at that very moment. I first smacked the side of my head on the metal bar, and then we hit another bump a second later and I whacked the front of my head.
We usually get a lot of stares where ever we go in the tuk tuk, so you can imagine how many we got when people saw an American girl sitting in the wrong place on the tuk tuk.... We reached the Guest House, my head throbbing and my knuckles white from death-gripping the tuk tuk, Lisa-Marie told us that tonight we were getting an official, traditional Khmer massage, I thought I might pass-out with relief. Fully clothed and sore all over, Bret, Alex and I went into the massage room and were soon greated by our three massuesess. The massage was going great until Bret was told to go into the bathroom and change into some PJ shorts. He walked in and closed the door, but didn't switch the light switch that was on the outside, so one of the girls did it for him, he came out and I told him one of the girls had to turn on the lights for him. With his new shorts on Bret flung himself onto the bed, and landed his head right on the headboard. The smacking sound was louder and harder than you can ever imagine, I burst out laughing and nearly cried, the girls started giggling, I'm not sure if Alex knew what just happened, and Bret sat there groaning and laughing, it makes me cry I'm laughing so hard right now. The massage was great except for one part when my masseuse sat my up and cracked by whole back which hurt a whole lot but felt good at the same time.
I finally make my way to bed, where I fall asleep and dream about living at CPO with my family and all the kids...
"They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." Andy Warhol
I feel like yesterday passed by way too quickly. We got to the orphanage and Lisa-Marie told us what we were doing that day, one group would start to build a pig pen, the other group would start de-lousing the kids. Once we gathered enough bricks, bought the rest, and made our own cement, my group headed over to the spot where a concrete pig pen would soon stand. It was a little hard for me at first to get the hang of adding enough wet cement and then putting the brick in place, but after some time, I still was terrible at it. So I went to the outside of the pen and began scraping up excess cement from the wall and putting it in a bucket. We let the cement dry while we played around with the kids and had some lunch, but then it was time to spread cement over the bricks. This job was, aswell, impossible for me to master, so I did my best until it was time for the next group to take their shift.
As we sat under the roof of the stage the now familiar pitter, patter began to sound on the metal. With in a minute it was pouring rain like it would never rain again. The wind nearly knocked me over, the lightning and thunder roared in the sky, and the rain completely flooded the ground under the stage. Everyone got out and played in the rain until finally we all heaved ourselves back onto the stage and played there until it was time to go.
Day 7
Today we moved on from the pig pen project, and onto the clothes lines. Never have I ever apreciated lawn mowers more than I do now. When I first learned we were cutting the grass I thought, "No problem." Then I learned it was without a mower, "It's all good." then I learned it was to the dirt and with a knife, "Oh."
Sweating like I've never sweat before we all got down on our hands and knees and began to cut the long grass right down to the root, clump by clump. With almost every other wad of grass I uprooted a new army of tiny fire ants would erupt from the ground, and they were ruthless. A few hours had gone by before we all finally stood up and looked at our work, and I could not be happier. What once was an overgrown, ant- infested field of grass was now just a square of dirt. We were allowed a break from the clothes lines, so we sat down and had lunch.
After eating we split up into two groups, one would work on the clothes lines more, the other would de-lice, then we would switch. I started off de-licing by finding out who hadn't gotten de-loused and who had. After asking around we found everyone who hadn't and set off to work. I de-loused a 15 year old boy named, Niron. Niron's quiet, but so sweet. When I went to go tell him that he was going to be de-loused I found him on the stage, reading the dictionary out-loud. I almost left so he could read but ended up calling him over anyway.
Ten minutes of shampooing lead us up to the well where Niron washed off his hair. Right as I was about to give him the conditioner, he took off at a sprint down the little hill. Thinking that he was trying to run away I chased after him all the way to his locker/cubby where he pulled out a long wire. I followed him back up to the well where he now started to mend the broken hinge attaching the rope to one of the buckets. Relieved that he hadn't tried to run away I poured him some conditioner, he rubbed it in and washed it out, then I picked out any lice or lice eggs with a comb.
Our groups switched and I started to plow the remaining dirt where the four new clothes lines stood. As I worked, Srey Tok ran over to me shouting, "Ava, Ava!" Except pronouncing the first "A" like an "e". She dug into her pocket and pulled out a green and pink braclet she made herself and tugged it onto my wrist. After plowing the dirt, picking out roots, and raking the ground, we finally finished our new clothes line.
I got back to the stage and it was almost time to go when 18 year old Rot ran over to me and handed me a shiny blue card that had something in Khmer written on the front, and, "I <3 U" written on the back, when he gave to me he said, "I love you my friend."
Drizzling rain and being squeezed by my new friend Niron, I was lucky enough to ride on the small triangular metal piece that connnects the tuk tuk to the bike because there was no room. As we ride away down the dirt street, I could still see the kids waving and chasing after us until we turned the corner and they disappeared. Riding down the bumby dirt road Lisa-Marie asked me how I was doing, I turned around to tell her I was fine when we were fortunate enough to hit a bump at that very moment. I first smacked the side of my head on the metal bar, and then we hit another bump a second later and I whacked the front of my head.
We usually get a lot of stares where ever we go in the tuk tuk, so you can imagine how many we got when people saw an American girl sitting in the wrong place on the tuk tuk.... We reached the Guest House, my head throbbing and my knuckles white from death-gripping the tuk tuk, Lisa-Marie told us that tonight we were getting an official, traditional Khmer massage, I thought I might pass-out with relief. Fully clothed and sore all over, Bret, Alex and I went into the massage room and were soon greated by our three massuesess. The massage was going great until Bret was told to go into the bathroom and change into some PJ shorts. He walked in and closed the door, but didn't switch the light switch that was on the outside, so one of the girls did it for him, he came out and I told him one of the girls had to turn on the lights for him. With his new shorts on Bret flung himself onto the bed, and landed his head right on the headboard. The smacking sound was louder and harder than you can ever imagine, I burst out laughing and nearly cried, the girls started giggling, I'm not sure if Alex knew what just happened, and Bret sat there groaning and laughing, it makes me cry I'm laughing so hard right now. The massage was great except for one part when my masseuse sat my up and cracked by whole back which hurt a whole lot but felt good at the same time.
I finally make my way to bed, where I fall asleep and dream about living at CPO with my family and all the kids...
"They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." Andy Warhol
Monday, July 2, 2012
"Let us wipe out the past, trust in the future, and rejoice in the glorious Now."
Day 4
Yesterday was our first day away from CPO, our main orphanage. We spent the whole day going to SFODA and the PIO orphanage and handing out supplies like clothing, food and medical supplies. The first orphanage we went to was SFODA. This orphanage is right by the Tonle Sap River and was in the middle of a slum village, very unlike CPO, this orphanage was much bigger and had much better living conditions. Unfortunately our tuk tuk broke down so one group was an hour and a half late. But despite our tardiness I was able to connect with some of the younger children. Very soon after I had arrived it was time to leave, so we hopped in the tuk tuks and headed for PIO.
PIO is on the outskirts of not only a slum village, but a trash dump as well. As we drove by half-naked children would watch us from piles of trash, their tiny hands desperately clutching items that they found there. Once we got to PIO I immediately felt a different connection then what we had with SFODA, all the kids ran up and hugged us and lead us into the main room in the orphanage where we all sat down and made origami. One sixteen year old boy, Vinsna, came over to Nikko and I and we talked a drew with each other. Over the past few days I've noticed that whenever I tell someone my name, they immediately drag me over to their friend and say excitedly, "Ava!" but finally Visna told us that Nikko, Ava, and Visna were all famous Cambodian singers. I suggested that we make a band but they just laughed at me, their loss anyway. Once we finished origami some of the kids put on a show and it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Delirious with excitement, one girl who was preforming smiled hugely and nearly fell over when she saw me smiling at her. After two dances and a lot of clapping, our whole team was privileged enough to have a dance party, and let me tell you, they are the best dancers in the world. One boy with a sort of mullet whose name I never got to know was always in the center of the dancing circle, dancing like there was no tomorrow (which really there wasn't) because soon it was time to go. As we piled into the tuk tuks Lisa-Marie gave a bag of clothing to the trash dump kids. As we were about to drive away Visna came up to my tuk tuk and said, "Will you come back?" And I said I would try. But then he said, "Promise me. Promise me you will come back. I want to see you again." I was nearly in tears when I told him that I really couldn't promise too much, but I did promise I would work my soul out to come back next year.
Day 5
Today was an amazing day for sure. We went back to CPO and everyone was so happy to see us. After huge hugs and hellos we all messed around for a while, then it was time to work. Nikko and I were in charge of washing the clothes by hand which isn't too hard, getting the kids to tell us what clothes were dirty was a different story. All the kids think that everything is clean even if it's drenched in mud and covered in stains. Once we finally took a basket of clothes and headed up to the well, we were able to clean everything fairly quickly. With our first chore down we then headed back to the garden, where we would be raking trash for the next hour and a half. Seeing as though the fences were almost falling over with the continuous weight of wet clothing, we were cleaning an area of grass and dirt for new clothes lines (plus it could use a clean-up anyway). Under a tree by the corner of the fence was a total ocean of trash, so stupidly unknowing of what could be back there I went under the tree and began to rake, not knowing I had awoken about ten-thousand fire ants, and I'm not exaggerating. On this trip I've been bitten by more fire ants than I have by misquitos, and they hurt. After calming myself down and double-checking that there were no ants on me, I went back to the stage and began a game with the older boys. There are two teams, one is defensive and the other offensive. The offensive team has to say, "Oooooooo..." The whole time they are on one side of the stage, once they touch one of the defensive members, that person must run back to their team, still saying, "Oooooo..." if that person runs out of breath and stops saying that, they lose, the defensive team is also allowed to trip, push, or put into a head lock who ever is trying to return to their team. I have to admit though, the talent to touch someone who wants to stop you at all costs and return to your team unscathed is a talent I do not possess.
Our game ended, I was sweating like a pig, and it was raining, so we started a dance party. I don't think a grown-up will ever truly understand the bonding that goes on between kids when they throw a dance party together. We danced, and we danced, and we danced, until finally it was time to go. Still sweating but wearing a huge smile I climbed into the tuk tuk and we rode away, the kids chasing after us, trying to make our hands touch for just a little longer.
On our drive home Nikko and I came up with a game; if anyone stared, pointed, or laughed at us as we passed, we gained a point. We ended with a total of thirty-five points. Most people just stared in awe at us as we passed, but when we stopped at a red light one man on the motorcycle next to us reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, and took a picture of us!
"Let us wipe out the past, trust in the future, and rejoice in the glorious Now." William R. Evans 111 & Andrew Frothingham
Yesterday was our first day away from CPO, our main orphanage. We spent the whole day going to SFODA and the PIO orphanage and handing out supplies like clothing, food and medical supplies. The first orphanage we went to was SFODA. This orphanage is right by the Tonle Sap River and was in the middle of a slum village, very unlike CPO, this orphanage was much bigger and had much better living conditions. Unfortunately our tuk tuk broke down so one group was an hour and a half late. But despite our tardiness I was able to connect with some of the younger children. Very soon after I had arrived it was time to leave, so we hopped in the tuk tuks and headed for PIO.
PIO is on the outskirts of not only a slum village, but a trash dump as well. As we drove by half-naked children would watch us from piles of trash, their tiny hands desperately clutching items that they found there. Once we got to PIO I immediately felt a different connection then what we had with SFODA, all the kids ran up and hugged us and lead us into the main room in the orphanage where we all sat down and made origami. One sixteen year old boy, Vinsna, came over to Nikko and I and we talked a drew with each other. Over the past few days I've noticed that whenever I tell someone my name, they immediately drag me over to their friend and say excitedly, "Ava!" but finally Visna told us that Nikko, Ava, and Visna were all famous Cambodian singers. I suggested that we make a band but they just laughed at me, their loss anyway. Once we finished origami some of the kids put on a show and it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Delirious with excitement, one girl who was preforming smiled hugely and nearly fell over when she saw me smiling at her. After two dances and a lot of clapping, our whole team was privileged enough to have a dance party, and let me tell you, they are the best dancers in the world. One boy with a sort of mullet whose name I never got to know was always in the center of the dancing circle, dancing like there was no tomorrow (which really there wasn't) because soon it was time to go. As we piled into the tuk tuks Lisa-Marie gave a bag of clothing to the trash dump kids. As we were about to drive away Visna came up to my tuk tuk and said, "Will you come back?" And I said I would try. But then he said, "Promise me. Promise me you will come back. I want to see you again." I was nearly in tears when I told him that I really couldn't promise too much, but I did promise I would work my soul out to come back next year.
Day 5
Today was an amazing day for sure. We went back to CPO and everyone was so happy to see us. After huge hugs and hellos we all messed around for a while, then it was time to work. Nikko and I were in charge of washing the clothes by hand which isn't too hard, getting the kids to tell us what clothes were dirty was a different story. All the kids think that everything is clean even if it's drenched in mud and covered in stains. Once we finally took a basket of clothes and headed up to the well, we were able to clean everything fairly quickly. With our first chore down we then headed back to the garden, where we would be raking trash for the next hour and a half. Seeing as though the fences were almost falling over with the continuous weight of wet clothing, we were cleaning an area of grass and dirt for new clothes lines (plus it could use a clean-up anyway). Under a tree by the corner of the fence was a total ocean of trash, so stupidly unknowing of what could be back there I went under the tree and began to rake, not knowing I had awoken about ten-thousand fire ants, and I'm not exaggerating. On this trip I've been bitten by more fire ants than I have by misquitos, and they hurt. After calming myself down and double-checking that there were no ants on me, I went back to the stage and began a game with the older boys. There are two teams, one is defensive and the other offensive. The offensive team has to say, "Oooooooo..." The whole time they are on one side of the stage, once they touch one of the defensive members, that person must run back to their team, still saying, "Oooooo..." if that person runs out of breath and stops saying that, they lose, the defensive team is also allowed to trip, push, or put into a head lock who ever is trying to return to their team. I have to admit though, the talent to touch someone who wants to stop you at all costs and return to your team unscathed is a talent I do not possess.
Our game ended, I was sweating like a pig, and it was raining, so we started a dance party. I don't think a grown-up will ever truly understand the bonding that goes on between kids when they throw a dance party together. We danced, and we danced, and we danced, until finally it was time to go. Still sweating but wearing a huge smile I climbed into the tuk tuk and we rode away, the kids chasing after us, trying to make our hands touch for just a little longer.
On our drive home Nikko and I came up with a game; if anyone stared, pointed, or laughed at us as we passed, we gained a point. We ended with a total of thirty-five points. Most people just stared in awe at us as we passed, but when we stopped at a red light one man on the motorcycle next to us reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, and took a picture of us!
"Let us wipe out the past, trust in the future, and rejoice in the glorious Now." William R. Evans 111 & Andrew Frothingham
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